Enchanted got three nominations? Are you kidding me?

So the Oscars were tonight. And in between "No Country For Old Men" winning almost every goddamn award, there were musical performances commemorating the five nominees for "best original song".

oh, im sorry. There were only three nominees. It only seemed like five because it read like this:

Once
August Rush
FUCKING ENCHANTED
FUCKING ENCHANTED
FUCKING ENCHANTED!

So when I found out that Enchanted was the first nominee, i thought: Okay. Maybe there was a good song in it, even though the movie dosent look like something I'd have wanted to see in theaters. Ill give it the benefit of the doubt.

And then Amy Adams started singing. It was her, alone on stage, singing a song about cleaning.

At that moment, i felt the despair and horror of a godless existence crashing down upon me.

It seemed so weak. Like she was singing to imaginary people in the midst of some psychotic breakdown.

Eventually, that song ended, and the show went on. Jon Stewart was making a joke about jumpshots and periscope shots that I found rather witty. I remember thinking "That Jon Stewart is hilarious. I should watch 'the daily show' more often. Its brand of political satire..."

And then it happened. Another song from Enchanted started playing. At which point i realized it had been nominated once again IN THE SAME CATEGORY.

So a group of performers, which this time did not include Amy Adams, took the stage. Why the fuck Amy Adams wasn't on stage for that one, hell if i know. I guess she just got tired or something, or maybe he psychotic breakdown had degenerated to the point where she just couldn't sing anymore. So we were treated to another round of ear rape from the Enchanted OST

At this point my train of thought is as such: This is the most retarded oscar lineup ever. There could not possibly be another song from Enchanted in this show. If there was a just and loving God, he would not allow that horrible sin of a movie to get another nomination.

So they start announcing the last song, and i think it might be something from Juno, or from the wonderfully upbeat There will be blood

And yet.... yeah.

This time, John Travolta came in near the end. Most likely, he had snapped from all the auditing sessions at the ol Scientology center. Must have rode to the oscars in the same car as amy adams.

But i digress.

Fortunately, Enchanted didn't even win. The Oscar went to a film called Once, which has just become my favorite movie of all time, despite the fact that I had no real desire to see it until about two hours ago. I think its about Irish people... or emo people... or Irish emos-- honestly i wasn't paying attention.

Why do you need to nominate a movie three times for a single category? It should just have one song representing the whole and thats it. And are you seriously telling me there were no other songs in movies last year? Hell, throw a little light hearted song from No Country For Old Men in there. It has to be better than that!

On a related topic, dosent Javier Bardem look like the Berries and cream kid?


Call it friendo: Berries... Or cream?



These berries and this cream have been traveling for years to get here! Now call it!