Silly, a definition

Anger is something that has become common place in my life lately. Frustration is home among my realm. But tonight, I feel like that anger is justified.

Tonight was a landmark night, Saturday of the Halloween weekend. Life is a party for the old children of the IE. And I was feeling particularly cocky. So tonight, armed with a barrel of confidence, I went to a party. Once there, I was enamored by the presence of a pink-gowned pirate wench. From the moment she saw me, I could tell she held disdain and hatred for me. And yet, I still decided to start a conversation with his “feisty” (I use the term loosely) wench.

Me: And what are you supposed to be?
Wench: I’m a pirate wench!
Me: Can I let you in on a secret?
Wench: *leans in*
Me: *Whispers* you look silly
Wench: I do? Why?
Me: I don’t know, you just do.

Now, usually among my friends, we rip jokes at each other. In fact, it is my understanding that sometimes, women like to be teased a little. And usually, I would have just forgotten the little exchange and moved on with my life.

But ten minutes later, the wenches friend comes and pulls me off to the side.

Friend: hey, if you think my friend looks silly, you should just keep it to yourself.
Me: …okay?
Friend: That was really rude what you said to her.

Here is why I am angry. Had I simply told this girl “you look lovely tonight”, she would have said “thank you”, but secretly she would have been annoyed, disdaining the guy trying in vain to capture her heart.

So I am going to tell you all a story. This story has only been told once, and that was to a female helicopter pilot who did not understand its importance.

When I was a young 9th grader at Rubidoux high school, I met N Jones.

She was my ninth, eleventh and twelfth grade school teacher. And I will never forget the first day of class with her. She starts in with the average “I am your teacher. This is what we’ll learn.” And then, she points out the clock on the wall…

…Which is upside down.

She mentions her students did it once as a joke and she didn’t have the heart to turn it back around. She asks us “what is sexy about my clock?”

This was the first time I heard the word “sexy” spoken by a public school teacher, let alone a sixty year old woman.

I am blown away already!

So she goes around the classroom and asks everyone until finally she comes to me. She asks me my name, and then she asks “Richard, what is sexy about my clock.”

Now at this point, I’ve seen a sixty year old woman rant and rave about a clock being sexy and I’m just this 14 year old Christian-raised geek whose somewhere between confused, scared, and completely excited.

I just remember looking at her, her face close to mine as she sort of whispers “Richard… what is sexy about my clock.”

In my mind I am saying “ma’am, I have no clue what’s sexy about your clock. It’s just a fucking clock to me.”

I stutter out a few words, trying to give some answer that will just get this crazy woman out of my face. Finally, she just starts slapping my shoulder while yelling, “cause its different! And it’s funny! And different and funny is sexy!”

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From that day, I realized that if I could be anyone else but myself, it would be her. This 60 year young, frayed haired, makeup coated mad woman captured my imagination. She was silly in a way that was unabridged, unapologetic, and completely sensual.

So Ill say this in regards to the Pirate wench. Physically, she was much prettier than N Jones. What I said about her being silly: bad joke. I could take it all back. She was not beautiful and silly, but just beautiful. And she is like the millions of “beautiful” girls who come at a dime a dozen.

Truthfully, I am sorry. Not for me, but for her and all the pretty girls who would rather be sexy than silly.